Self Actualization-What spills out of you when you get bumped?
I was recently reminded of the following analogy I’d shared a couple years ago. It was something that I’d been thinking about at the time, but hadn’t yet found the words to properly articulate.
"When you squeeze an orange, you'll always get orange juice to come out. What comes out is what's inside. The same logic applies to you: when someone squeezes you - puts pressure on you, or says something unflattering or critical - and out of you comes anger, hatred, bitterness, tension, depression, or anxiety, that is what's inside. If love and joy are what you want to give and receive, change your life by changing what's inside." - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
Reading it again reminded me of the gratitude I felt for those who share seemingly simple ideas like this that can help us make sense of and positively reprogram our minds. It also brought to mind the following analogy that I've heard more recently:
"You are holding a cup of coffee when someone comes along and bumps into you or shakes your arm, making you spill your coffee everywhere.
Why did you spill the coffee?
“Well because someone bumped into me, of course!”
You spilled the coffee because there was coffee in your cup.
Had there been tea in the cup, you would have spilled tea.
Whatever is inside the cup is what will spill out.
Therefore, when life comes along and shakes you (which WILL happen), whatever is inside you will come out. It’s easy to fake it, until you get rattled.
So we have to ask ourselves…”What’s in my cup?”
When life gets tough, what spills over?
Joy, gratefulness, peace and humility?
Or anger, bitterness, harsh words and reactions?
Today let’s work towards filling our cups with gratitude, forgiveness, joy, words of affirmation for ourselves; and kindness, gentleness and love for others." - Author unknown
They both point to the idea that whatever emotions or mindsets we are carrying around inside are what will be expressed in moments of pressure or trying times. We slowly allow what's inside of us to be defined by what happens around us or what we surround ourselves with - the guidance that we choose to listen to, the beliefs of others, the feedback that we internalize, the trauma we've experienced - and it all contributes to how we act at home, at the grocery store, at work, and even in the bedroom. Our thoughts, ideas, and experiences can influence us in both positive and negative ways, but we tend to let the negative interpretations build up inside of us until we reach a breaking point and they come out in multiple outbursts or one big messy explosion. We can begin to understand and redefine what our experiences and associated thoughts mean to us by journaling about them, reading related books and online articles, or finding someone we can talk to.
We cannot always choose what surrounds us, but how we internalize things, what we keep inside of us - that’s our choice. I invite you to come join us for our 8-week guided online men’s program Dawn of a New Man - Mastery of Your Life where we will be providing powerful tools to help you redefine the thoughts, feelings, and ideas you’re carrying around as a man.
Until next time!
Lee Watson- Male Empowerment Coach